Hi to anyone who might find themselves reading my blog. I started out pretty strong and then stopped. I have been enjoying other peoples’ blogs and respond as I feel necessary.
January and February were great months for me this year as I was finally walking on my own after 6 months of intense, but thoughtful, physical therapy and great determination from me to get rid of my walker, crutches and cane. I “graduated” and moved on to their gym facility where I even treated myself to a trainer once a week who gave me 6 visits for the price of 4 as he loved my perseverance. After two months of training and going one or two days on my own, I began to feel the weakness set in. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t use the arm machines as my left arm would start to tremor as I tried to put the weights across my chest (these were machines). My legs started to let me down, too, and I felt light-headed. Even using the 3-5 pound hand weights were causing great fatigue. My balance during certain stretches was funny but also embarrassing. I was disheartened. I had made so many friends that had seen me using the walker in the gym and now on my own two feet. I had to stop when I couldn’t warm up by walking the track as my left foot drop kicked back in along with the endless thigh and calf cramps.
What had changed? My meds were the same, my diet was the same – grain free except for corn (the Shoemaker biotoxin elimination diet) and yet here I was going backwards. If this is a relapse, I feel a little gypped as I spent over 8 years suffering to have barely two months of feeling somewhat normal. The improvement did not mean that I could now go to stores, food shop, buy gifts, go to movies as that was still sensory overload. We found this out most recently last Saturday when I wanted to hit the Christmas Tree shop near me to get some fun things for my garden and load up of gift bags, cards and tissue paper as there are a lot of graduations and birthdays coming up. We were almost done, Dave with the carriage, me with my walker when the color drained from me and I almost went down. There was just too much stuff surrounding the register that I was panicking from the displays, looking for a register and having people cut me off. Dave to the rescue, moved me near the exit and went through the register line. He did not express anything but concern and understanding. He allowed me the chance to do something – one store – even though he knew the chances of my senses being overwhelmed were very possible.
This is all for this blog as my next one will be about the hell I’ve been through the past three weeks with illness, doctors visits and no concrete answer.
Until then, I hope everyone has a beautiful Memorial Day and remembers the real reason for the holiday (and that is not for sale prices). I have some flags to stick in my flower garden out front and a large flag I display below my bay window. Of course, my sister Donna is coming over for a visit, so I will actually ask her to do it.
Please know that I continue to get out of bed everyday, shower, dress and try and get laundry or bills done. I have not in anyway given up trying! Love to all. Kath