personal journey with lyme disease

The Wedding, Part 2 August 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — iammorethanlyme @ 8:48 am

August 28, 2012

Happy 30th Anniversary to us!!!

Wedding Day, Part 2

Well, I ended yesterday’s blog with my graceful exit from the Church, so I will continue with the reception and the honeymoon with no money!

Dave and I got into the limo to head to the reception and, of course, there was champagne for us, which neither of us like (I don’t drink), but we held up the glasses for a picture, shut the door and made our way slowly to the next town over.  I guess they do that so everyone can get there before you.  We made our grand entrance without any incidents by me and then set up the meet and greet line in front of the cascading waterfall.  It was a gorgeous, sunny day and I was so happy at that point that I decided to do the reception line at the hall instead of outside the Church as I would have melted.  I have never done well in the heat!  Doris is doing a great job with the Guest Book and my sister, Donna, has stopped shaking.

We all move to our tables and I think I did a great job in placing people together with Dave making just a few changes.  We did have a long head table for us, Donna and Billy and the parents/stepparents.  The other tables had or relatives, friends from childhood, vacations in New Hampshire, school and jobs.  It was quite an array of ages!  The DJ (yes, I could not be bothered finding a band or trying to pay for it) started playing music while everyone milled around and got drinks.  The drinking age had gone back to 18 at that time.  Finally the DJ asked everyone to sit so that Dave and I could have our first dance together as husband and wife.  That was funny as I could count on one hand how many times we had danced together prior to our wedding.  Now came an interesting twist – we didn’t have one wedding song – we had two!  I picked the song that meant the most to me regarding David and he picked one for me.  To us it made sense.  It wasn’t that we couldn’t have just decided on one, but I think that we had a particular song in mind for each other meant more.  So first they played my song, “Always and Forever” and then they played David’s song, “Precious and Few”.  That meant I got to dance with Dave twice that day!

There were more dances for the father/daughter and mother/son, but then it was time to eat.  Oh, yes, I had to be different.  I chose a family style turkey dinner for everyone.  Everyone loves Thanksgiving and I thought what would be better than turkey, mashed  potatoes, stuffing and all the fixings with as much as you wanted as it was family style.  It was not a buffet; every table was served and could just ask for refills of whatever they wanted.  I don’t remember eating anything much, but do remember my mother trying to get to me on the dance floor to drink some Coca-Cola as I just wanted to dance!  Dave was the perfect host as he went from table to table talking to everyone.  I sat at different tables when I needed a break from dancing and talked with everyone, just not a properly as Dave did.  But I know that he knew if he kept moving, I couldn’t make him dance anymore!

My friends have the same humor as I do and made sure the DJ played Rod Stewart’s “Tonight’s the Night” and John Cougar’s “Hurts So Good” and others along that line.  The older relatives were probably talking too much to pay much attention, but my friends thought they were so funny!  The DJ also played line dances, the polka (which my best friend, Sue, and her Dad danced to and it was hilarious) and whatever anyone asked for and this was so much better than a band to me.  We had from 4pm to midnight to have as much fun as possible.  My stepdad, Charlie, and I danced to a slow song and I still remember him humming the whole time in my ear.  I loved that man so much.

It’s around 11pm when Dave and I go upstairs to change into our going away clothes.  I had to cool down from all the dancing before I could get my dress on and my hair was a mess!  Dave magically took his comb and fixed it so it looked better than it had all day!  We went back downstairs and everyone formed a circle around us and I think I got one more dance out of Dave, there was applause and then we said our goodbyes and out the door we went.  Apparently there was quite an after party at the Farrell’s, but we didn’t even know about it and were driving to the Cape in the pouring rain.  Dave had a nice new Jeep that I still love, so even though the weather was awful, we had no problem getting to Chatham in just over two hours.  We checked in to an inn that a friend had said was beautiful and she was right.  First problem?  I had made the reservation over the phone and then sent them a confirmation letter stating that it was our honeymoon.  So, what’s the problem?  They gave us the room right next to the front desk.  OK, it’s after 2am, which is way passed my bedtime and I am pissed.  I storm back up to the front and demand a different room shoving the letter in the man’s face.  We got moved.  The next morning I woke up to a weird sound.  I followed it into the bathroom and realized that I could hear the person in the next room brushing their teeth – ha ha – wonder what they heard from our room!

We headed out with plans to spend the day on Martha’s Vineyard, so we caught the ferry and Dave had a nap while I just sat next to him.  Once on Martha’s Vineyard, we rented a moped to tour the island.  That was the second mistake – one moped instead of two!  Being the second person on the back of a moped is NOT comfortable at all.  It was pure joy when I finally got off that thing!  Also, we didn’t think much of Martha’s Vineyard after all we had heard about it.  Back on the ferry we went and Dave slept again.  He is amazing!  We ate dinner, went to the drive-in in Yarmouth and then back to the not sound proof inn!  We woke to another beautiful day and decided to drive to Provincetown.  We stopped at the National Seashore and walked the beach and waded in the water.   It was still ice cold at the end of August.  We get back in the Jeep finally and as we are making out way toward Ptown, I ask if we can turn around and head back as I didn’t think we were ever going to get there.  No problem with Dave and we head back.  Little did we know we only had another 15 minutes to reach our destination!  We found a great restaurant on the way back and had dinner.  Then we walked the beach near our inn talking about what we would do next as we were checking out the next day.  “Let’s play it by ear”, says Dave and I’m fine with that.

The next morning we are checking out and the front desk person informs us that we have a reservation for 4 nights not 3 and if we left, we would still have to pay for that night.  Oh, I am so happy I have that copy of the letter with me.  I pull it out of my purse and show her where it clearly states the dates of the THREE nights we were staying.  Hah!  I win again!!

On the road again we head back towards home and decide to continue our road trip to the White Mountains.  First we spoil ourselves by staying at the Sheraton in Braintree, MA and order room service and watch football – yes, really – I am a sports junkie.  Our waiter was not as when he delivered our meal, he asked if anyone had scored a goal!  Oh, the things I remember.  We waited till he was long gone and then burst out laughing.  Silly kids.

Now we were already low on funds, but I did have my American Express card (yes, I got one at 18), so off we go to New Hampshire.  As we are approaching the 3 hour drive time and can see the White Mountains and all of a sudden, the traffic is at a standstill.  Now I am getting edgy as I am not the best traveler.  Dave is trying to convince me that it is just a traffic light in the distance, and, of course, he is right.  It took us almost an hour to get through that light and then we hit the Kangamangus Highway, which is so much fun to drive!  We stop and get something to eat and then look for a place to stay.  Oh boy, it is Labor Day weekend and every place we stop is full.  By 11pm I am figuring we are going to be sleeping in the Jeep and I am not even upset about it.  I am tired!  Just as we are about to give up, we see a vacancy sign at a little set of cabins.  We pull in and sure enough we get the last cabin.

We enter the cabin and immediately realize how cold it is (we had the heat on in the Jeep).  There is one coil radiator in the kitchen and that is it.  The tiny bathroom has a wooden seat (not like the fancy ones people buy nowadays).  I’m thinking “splinters”.  The bedroom has a full-size bed that is about 4 inches off the ground and when we laid on it, we rolled right into the middle of the bed.  Dave does not like the cold as much as I do not like the heat.  At one point he says he is taking a blanket and sleeping on the radiator!  I waited for him to do it, but we finally fell asleep.  We wake up and check out and go in search of breakfast.  Then we decide to head to Rindge, NH as I realize that my family is up there for the long weekend.  I grew up vacationing there for two weeks every year and then Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day weekend.  It took us about 1 ½ hours to get there and we surprised everyone!  I’m thinking that now we have a place to stay for the night and Mom will be happy to feed us!  We crashed in the living room that night after staying up late telling them about the honeymoon and making them laugh – A LOT!

Time to head to our new home; an apartment in Canton, MA;  two minutes from the train station which was just what I needed to get to my job in Boston.  Our furniture was set to arrive that afternoon as it had been bought and paid for before the wedding.  We waited then waited some more.  Now I am calling (luckily I had set up phone service).  I finally get someone who tells me that there was a mistake and it will be two days until delivery.  Are you kidding me???  I ranted but to no avail.  Now starving after waiting all day, we go out to eat and buy some food as the apartment has a refrigerator and stove.  Sleeping arrangements you ask?  Two bean bags on the living room floor.  Dave can sleep anywhere on anything.  Me, not so much.  Not a happy puppy without my sleep.  We make the best of it and get our wedding gifts from my Mom’s house and Dave’s Mom’s house.  We wash everything, put away the kitchen stuff, do the same in the bathroom and wait on our kitchen, living room and bedroom furniture.

It all showed up two days later and now we have our place all set up – OUR PLACE!  And so it begins………


30th Anniversary – the Wedding, Part 1 August 27, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — iammorethanlyme @ 9:18 am

August 27, 2012

So hard to believe that tomorrow will be our 30th wedding anniversary.  I asked Dave a while ago if he wanted to do anything special for this anniversary.  His response was, “like what?”  I said we could renew our vows and he asked what that would involve and the minute I said just a Justice of the P (didn’t even finish the word), he said, “NO”.  I then asked if he would like to go away for the weekend, another “no”.  I finally asked him if he would like new wedding bands as we have our original gold bands from when we were 19 and 20 and again he said, “No”.  Well that made it easy and was sweet in a way that he still wanted to keep his well-worn, stuck on his finger for good, wedding band.   He is such a sweet, funny man and not cheap in the least.

But I want to go back to our wedding day as it was a lot of fun and made for great memories.  We were paying for everything ourselves, so we kept the guest list to 130 people, which was difficult as Dave has a LARGE family (go into Brookline, MA, where he was born and say the name Mulvey or Farrell and someone will know one!)  My family was a lot smaller, but together we had so many friends from school, college, jobs, etc. that we ended up inviting 160 people going by the rule that 20% usually are not able to make it.  Well, 150 people replied that they WERE coming.  This was a problem as the reception was at a beautiful banquet hall called Savini’s in Easton, MA where you needed 250 people to use the upstairs all-glass, cascading waterfall and huge dance floor hall.  Unbelievable!  As we couldn’t afford it, we were going to be downstairs, which was charming with its brick walls and lighting.  This space could comfortably hold 125-140 people.  The upstairs was where I really wanted it, but it was not in the budget.

Being Scottish, I found my beautiful wedding gown for $40 – yes, $40 and then bought different lace and new buttons for the back of the dress and so the train could be buttoned up and off the floor at the reception.  I spent more money on my headpiece as I went into Windsor Button in Boston and bought a beautiful wreath and then enough veil material for two lengths and beading for the hems. That was $120 in 1980!  I also decided to keep my wedding party to just my younger sister, Donna, as I wanted my friends to enjoy themselves and I did not want to have seven bridesmaids that I had to find the right dress to fit them all nicely.  So, Donna was my maid of honor and just a teen herself, but she did a great job.  Dave was happy with not having a large bridal party, so his younger brother, Billy, was his best man.  Billy is a comedian by nature and had my poor sister beet red as he kept whispering to her during the ceremony!

I then went on to make all of the immediate family part of the wedding (except for my older sister, Anne and her husband, Larry, as their first-born, Jessica, was only ten months old and I thought they should just be able to enjoy the day.  Dave’s older sister, Ellen, was the photographer as she had studied it in high school and was always taking pictures.  His younger sister, Doris, who is the same age as Donna, was in charge of the Guest Book and making sure everyone signed it.  Dave’s two other younger brothers, Tom and Pat, got to roll the paper down the church aisle and then just look adorable in their tuxes!

Now for some back history; we were originally going to get married in February of 1981 and I was going to wear my Nana Kerr’s winter wedding gown from the 1930’s as I did not like the heat, so I thought a winter wedding would be pretty and hopefully the weather would agree.  Then as Dave and I kept talking about it, we decided we didn’t want to wait, so we planned for a September 1980 wedding instead.  When we asked Dave’s Mom about a date in the middle of September, she said they already had a wedding to go to on that day.  Really????  So I quickly figured it out and moved the date up to Labor Day weekend.  Rose replied that no one would come as it was a long weekend.  Hmmm, sounds like she doesn’t want us getting married yet.  So then I said, “OK, it’s settled, we will get married on August 28th!”  At this point Rose was realizing that I was just going to keep moving the date up, so she said that would be perfect!  Pa was fine with whatever we said.

Then I decided to tell my Mom that we had changed the date and what does she do?  She counts on her fingers to try and figure out if I’m pregnant.  Thanks Mom, glad to know nothing ever changes with you!  Once I convinced her that this was what we wanted, she was all in with giving me advice, telling me what to do and when to do it and I basically let it fall on deaf ears.  We were paying for this wedding ourselves and would handle it.  Of course, the biggest deal in the whole world was what she was going to wear and that she had to buy my sister Donna a long dress!  Rose, on the other hand, was hemming her gown on the eve of our wedding.  Talk about night and day!

Two weeks before our wedding, I call Savini’s to give them the exact count and Mr. Savini tells me that no one has booked the upstairs room, so I can have it if I want it for the same price.  Hell yeah, I wanted it!!!  I was ecstatic.  I would have beautiful natural light, plenty of space for everyone and the big dance floor!  Now I believe it was meant to be because I cannot believe the room was available on August 28th – aren’t summer weddings the big thing?

My flowers were all yellow roses as Dave had always given me yellow roses (and he still does for no special reason). Donna also had yellow roses (just a smaller version of mine).  Our cake was made at Dorothy Jean’s bakery and was a three-tiered, lemon-filled cake.  The hardest part was finding a man and woman for the top that I liked.  I didn’t think I was picky until I saw them and had to choose.  My friends and I made the centerpieces for each table at the reception hall and I had ribbon bows on the front pews at the church and beautiful floral arrangements at the front near the altar.

The morning of August 28, 1982:  5:30 am, Dave throw a rock at my window.  He has a gift for me.  I sneak downstairs to meet him and he gave me a beautiful pair of pearl earrings to wear that day.  I certainly wasn’t dressed in my gown, so I didn’t think of it as bad luck at all.  I remember everything except what I gave him!  I should ask him and see if he remembers – ha ha!  Well, I went back to bed wearing my new earrings as the wedding wasn’t until 2 o’clock (it was a Sunday).  I eventually got up, ate, showered, did my own hair and makeup and then tried to stay cool until the limo showed up.  My mother was complaining about her hair, her dress, how uncomfortable her all-in-one shape wear she bought (I did not tell her to buy it!) and then she finally calls upstairs and I’m just wearing a long shirt and my veil.  She freaks – why aren’t you dressed yet?  Because it’s too hot and what am I going to do once I put on my gown with the hoop under it.  The worst part was I was wearing heels that I did not want to as ballerina slippers would have been perfect with my gown as Dave is only 5’7” and I’m 5’4”.  I did not want to be the same height and I wanted to be very comfortable as I planned on dancing A LOT!  Mom won out and I still had marks on my feet the next day from the straps!  So I didn’t really care that she was uncomfortable in her “shape wear” and told her to take it off as she looked fine without it.  Nope, she was going to suffer…..

More?  OK.  I am dressed in plenty of time for the limo, the heat is not helping my bangs hold the slight curl I put in them, but out the door I go.  Donna looks beautiful in her light blue gown and is so nervous, I feel bad.  We arrive at the church about five minutes late, which I guess they do on purpose to give the guests extra time to get there.  Now I’m a little nervous as I am waiting for the music to start for the parents, Donna and Billy and finally my Dad and I to go down the aisle.  It begins!  Everything is perfect until I start down the aisle lined with paper and trip (damn heels).  My Dad has me tightly by the arm so no one really notices.  There’s Dave at the end of the aisle looking so damned handsome in his light grey tux with the yellow rose boutonnière and gorgeous smile.  Billy looks just as handsome standing next to him.  Dad lifts my veil, kisses me and gives me over to Dave.  Donna adjusts my train and takes my flowers.  The service was long because this priest is always long-winded and his sermon had nothing to do with marriage!  This was the time that Billy chose to joke with Donna and she just turned a brilliant hue of red.  The real problem was that Donna is deaf in her left ear and that was the side Billy was sitting on so she couldn’t really hear him and didn’t know how to respond.

Finally Dave and I are asked to kneel and the priest had our vows written out for us so we could just read them without repeating the priest line for line.  Well, I had Dave’s card and he had mine, so we had to switch them, which didn’t go totally unnoticed!  “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride” and everyone started clapping!  It was surreal.  Now we proceed down the aisle as a married couple and I have another problem – my blue garter belt is sliding down my leg and is at my ankle.  If you know me, you know that this is just me.  So I’m trying to ignore it till we get through the doors and then I just pull it off over my shoe.

Well, that’s more than enough of the story for now.  Tomorrow is our anniversary and I will write about the reception and the adventures of a honeymoon without any money!!!  Kathi