As I went off topic with my little rant, I did not tell you the kicker to the Lyme flare up. The herniated disks in my lower back that I have kept in check for the past 15 years decided to let loose last Thursday. They had been hinting that they were looking to cause trouble the past few weeks, but I kept them in check with my exercises. It is always the most boring thing that triggers disks to bulge and, sure enough, I was just stepping into a pair of shorts. I picked up my right foot and the spasm took my breath away. Wait, wait, it will pass. No such luck. Tylenol and heat were the first things I did. Somehow I got down on the ground and did my back stretches that I learned 15 years ago after facet blocks and a “boot camp” exercise program to strengthen my core and back. Oh, yes, LYME did this to my disks and has caused degeneration in my cervical spine as well.
I waited 24 hours to call my doctor and found out the office was closed while they ramped up their computer systems. I just wanted a note for physical therapy as I am well known where I go as they spent six months teaching me to walk on my own. I called back and pressed “0” to speak with the answering service. They took my information and said they would page my doctor. My doctor has been incredible, but I did not hear from him at all Friday. Did I call back? Nope, I just rode it out through the weekend.
Monday morning, still in the same pain, I call and get his assistant. She knows me well, too. I explain that I am trying to get a note faxed for PT for my herniated disks. I am not looking for pain meds. She asks me the usual; “have he seen you for this before” and I say not this issue specifically, but he is aware of my history. “OK, I will give him the message.”
It is Wednesday – I am wondering when she is going to give him the message?! No, I didn’t call back on Tuesday because I feel awkward. I know I don’t need to be seen as he will just give me a note for PT. I don’t have a way to get to his office as I don’t drive and people aren’t on call 24/7 for me. Am I unreasonable to think that I was just trying to make this easy for everyone? The people at PT would have called me if they received the fax.
Today is Wednesday and I am still in substantial pain. But as with Lyme, I try to compartmentalize it and put it to the side. If I let myself think about it, I am really angry that I did not even get a call back yet saying that I need to be seen by the doctor. I try not to think that way as it just leads me down a path to all the things I am angry about thanks to what Lyme has taken from me. There is so much anger, guilt, sadness and loss associated with this dreadful disease that I keep that as far down inside as I can. I am afraid of what will happen if I let it to the surface. That is for another blog. I am also happy for everyone I have in my life and for the sun shining and only getting up once during the night to use the bathroom!
Well I seem to have gone off point again. It is Wednesday. It has been a week of severe back pain. I don’t do ERs for back pain. I will email the office when I finish this post. How will I word it? I’m not sure. I know how I would like to write it, but that is the stuff I keep tucked down deep. I would have reached out to my Lyme doctor, but she has been on medical leave. Why am I making excuses – the doctor should have called me back last Friday and I should not be feeling guilty about bothering them. Here goes…………