iammorethanlyme

personal journey with lyme disease

Relapses, bulging disks and doctors – OH MY Part 3 September 27, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — iammorethanlyme @ 5:13 pm
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Feeling totally dis-empowered now by the eight days of waiting for a doctor to help me with my back, I went to their website to send an email and their computers are still being upgraded.  Wait, what’s that..Contact Us and when I clicked on it, there was the phone number and a title “We Value Your Opinion” with a box to type in.  Hmmm, should I, dare I, what the heck.  My first line was, “I wish you valued your patients.”  Subtle, of course not. I went on to detail as in as few words as I could what had transpired this past week.  I ended with, “Please tell me what I did wrong.”  Then I added my name, phone number and email address.

I thought that this would not be seen for a while and started to get angry at myself for sending it.  Apparently I had done something wrong.  Why would any doctor that you have a very good relationship with let you suffer as I have for the past week?  As I mentally beat myself up, I decided to call my Lyme doctor as I have been waiting to be rescheduled and had to leave a voice mail.

No more than 10 minutes later, the phone rings and it is my PCP’s assistant telling me that a note for physical therapy had been faxed to the number I had provided.  Could someone have possibly read that email already?  Probably coincidence, right?  My phone rings again; it is my Lyme doctor’s office.  The news is not as good.  She is still out on medical leave and will be back soon on a part-time basis.  I am concerned as I know she was being treated for Lyme when we met, but it is none of my business to ask.  When is my appointment?  Monday, NOVEMBER 4th at 9:30 in the morning.  That will be four months from the last time I saw her and I have not been well since the last visit.

Time for more mental notes to self; “Why should I be upset?”, “It’s not her fault she is ill.” “It’s almost October already, so I’ll be fine till November.”  This is me and my brain.  The same brain that had me convinced I might as well give up the idea of physical therapy and suck it up.  Unfortunately, this is not due to Lyme, this is the way I am wired.  I MUST have done something wrong to have these things happen to me.  It is easier to turn the feelings inward.  At least that is what I tell myself well knowing it is costing me a lot actually.

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3 Responses to “Relapses, bulging disks and doctors – OH MY Part 3”

  1. robin hall Says:

    Kathy, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. I really wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I can’t think of anything. like with my mom, sometimes it’s just better to listen. so I am very happy (weird choice of words, I know) to read your entries as I know they are therapeutic. I hope you can get started on your pt right away!

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    • Robin, I know you understand and the fact that you take the time to read my blog and comment means more to me than you know. I have chosen to get back to writing about things because it is therapeutic and I really don’t want to talk about ME when I see other friends and family. Thank you for caring. PT Tuesday!!

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  2. First of all, YOU did not do something wrong to deserve what you are suffering. That is just wrong thinking. Yep, I said it. You are suffering, yes. But it is not because of anything you have done. I sure hope you find some relief and that you can begin treatment again soon. Healing thoughts and prayers for you, friend.

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