iammorethanlyme

personal journey with lyme disease

Friday, July 10, 2015 – A New Beginning July 13, 2015

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My Friday morning started out the same as always: get up, shower, get dressed, have coffee, check emails, have more coffee, do a few puzzles and pay bills.  The rest of the day was unique to me.

I left the house at 9:15 to go to the bank and then make it to an appointment 40 minutes away.  After my appointment, I headed through the back roads of Wellesley, MA to Needham, MA to a gluten-free bakery and picked out two gluten-free and two regular cupcakes.  Then I wound my way to Rt.1 South and got an iced coffee at the drive-thru window.  I continued down Rt 1 to Newbury Comics where I found a CD Dave has been looking for and a used DVD “Office Space”.  It was close to 1 o’clock and I was hungry so I had one more stop at the Canton Library to pick up the next two books in a series I am reading and then I headed home where I ate and sat for a few minutes deciding whether or not I needed a rest.

Forty minutes later I was out the door and stopped to pick up coffee K-cups and got the chance to see my youngest, Meg and chat for a few minutes.  Then I went to Wal-Mart to shop for paper goods and items that are less expensive and work in my budget.  It was great to wander aisles and not worry about the time.  I left and stopped to put gas in the car on my way home.  It was after 4 and I decided that I had done enough and the gym would have been too much.  It was a good decision.

Doesn’t sound all that exciting, does it?  I didn’t go for a manicure or take myself out to eat, BUT what I did do was DRIVE myself everywhere!  After 9 1/2 years of not driving or working, I had finally gone for a new permit and had passed the road test (easily) on Tuesday, July 7, 2015.

Almost a decade of being dependent on others.  Never in a million years would I have imagined that it would have taken me this long to recover enough from 4 strains of Lyme and 10 co-infections and simply be able to drive by myself.  I know my family and close friends understand.  I know my Lyme friends get it.  I thought being able to go to the gym almost every day since April was incredible.  I thought being off antibiotics since mid-April was awesome.  I thought walking to the library and taking out books that I could now hold and read was so freeing.  Then I drove again by myself.  The shit-eating grin, the tears and the loud music were a medicine like no other.

Thank you to everyone who supported and believed in me during this process.  I knew enough to stop driving, so I trusted myself to know that I was well enough to drive again.  My son-in-law, Scott, called me a teenager the other day for the way I was acting.  Then he and Amy took me out to dinner to celebrate my achievement.  Yes, we let Dave come along.

Donna, Amy and Dave, your kindness and patience chauffeuring me everywhere for past decade go beyond anything I could put into words.  I also know that you will always be there for me, but now maybe I can be there for you. xoxo

 

What’s a year to a person with Chronic Lyme? August 12, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — iammorethanlyme @ 9:50 am
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Hello!  It looks like it has been almost a year since I blogged and that just seems so crazy.  I know I started some blogs, but never finished them.  It doesn’t seem possible that it has almost been a year, because there have been so many days during that time period that seemed so endless!  Those days where you just go through the motions and count the hours till bedtime fully aware that you have MADE IT through another day of pain, medications, medication side effects, and herxes.  I go to bed full of faith that tomorrow will be a better day!  Recently my thinking has changed….

I am starting to have better days.  What is better than that?  I am starting to sleep through the night!  This has not happened since my teen years.  I have narcolepsy and Chronic Lyme to wake me multiple times through the night.  I have narcolepsy which interrupts my REM cycles so that I never feel rested.  I had a sleep study years ago that showed 67 wakenings during the night.  Is it any wonder that I needed a job that kept me on my feet?  Too long at a desk and I would nod off.  There were a few cataplectic moments where my body just collapsed.  Of course, I used humor to make it easier on those around me.  Now 30+ years later, I am sleeping.  It is the most amazing thing in the world.  It is so great that it is hard to get out of bed even though I am fully rested; I just want to lay there awake and remember dreams.  Dreaming is wonderful.  I am thrilled to the point that I don’t even wonder if this is just a phase due to my new Lyme treatment protocol.  I will not be drawn into thinking negatively.  If my new antibiotics, supplements and detox agents are responsible for this – HALLELUJAH and can I have some more. 

My brain and my body need this sleep to recover and repair all the damage from Chronic Lyme.  I still rest during the day even if I had a solid 8-9 hours of sleep because this is how we heal.  Dave emails me everyday and always writes, “rest, rest, rest.”  He has no expectations from me except to do what I need to do to get well.  This is huge for me as I am well enough to accept and believe what he says instead of feeling guilty and useless.  He has seen me through this disease along with my sister, Donna, and my daughters.  They have seen me through the most horrible times and rejoiced with me each time I have battled back.  My eyes tear up as I think of these times and my mind conjures up images of what they saw and now the tears are flowing freely as I wish I could erase what they constantly witnessed.  A decade of pure love and selflessness…probably more to come.  How does one person convey their thanks for this?  I keep fighting this battle every second of every minute of every hour of every day because that is the least I can do for all of us.  I am honored by their love.